My lord, we ran out of supplies

my-lord

Ruler: It’s the sixth day. How far with the creation of the universe?

Servant: My lord, we ran out of supplies. We finished creating the universe but there were not enough supplies to fine tune it plus there is no one to praise us for the hard work.

Ruler: You mean, you haven’t created humans yet?

Servant: Yes my lord, we didn’t have enough supplies to create humans plus we didn’t have enough supplies to make the whole earth into forest where the humans and animals will coexist. We just have some tiny forest for habitats.

Ruler: Alright the earth is already created so get some clay and make a statue. Let me know when you are done. I will breathe some life into it and turn it into human.

(Servant molds statue from clay and Ruler breathes into it and it became a man.)

(Few days later.)

Ruler: Servant, it looks like Man alone is not enough to praise us. Let’s get him woman so they can procreate. Then there will be many human beings to praise us.

Servant: That sounds like great idea but we already ran out of supplies.

Ruler: Break one of Man’s rib and create Woman from it.

Servant: My lord, it’s done. Now they are ready for procreation.

(Few days later)

Servant: My lord, you look quite depressed today. Something wrong?

Ruler: The asteroids and meteors were not fixed properly. Soon they are going to fall upon the earth. Rocks and metals are boiling in the earth core; soon volcanoes are going to erupt. Violent earthquake, hurricanes and tsunamis are going to bring destruction upon the earth. On top of this, women are going to suffer great pain at birth. They are going to multiply and the forest can’t contain them all. Humans are going to blame us instead of praising us.

Servant: My lord, let’s find a way to blame it on humans. Let’s make it look like everything bad is their fault. Of course we shall clam credit for everything good.

Ruler: Brilliant! Plant a very attractive tree with irresistible fruits in the forest. I know what to do.

Servant: My lord, it’s done already.

(Ruler visits Man)

Ruler: Hey Man, come here. Seen that charming forbidden tree with mouth watering fruits? Don’t eat fruits from it. If you do, you will dead.

(Ruler goes back and looks upon the forest through a window)
(Woman sees snake on the forbidden tree)

Woman: Hey, you disgusting motherfucker! Ruler said no one should go near that charming tree!

Snake: Calm down Woman. You are the most beautiful woman on earth (of course, the ugliest as well.) Ruler sent me to come to tell you that He has changed  His mind. From now onward, you are free to eat from this tree. Look, I just ate from the forbidden tree, am I dead? If Ruler had not sent me, how come I am able to talk? Have you seen a talking snake before?

Woman: Awww, you are such an adorable snake. I love you cutie. Give me  some fruits already.

(Woman eats some fruits from the forbidden tree. Snake goes away. Man comes.)

Woman: Hellooooo hubby, I have a surprise for you.

Man: and the surprise is …..

Woman: Just close your eyes and swallow whatever I put in your mouth.

Man: Sure, I am ready.

(Woman puts the forbidden fruit in Man’s mouth and he swallows it.)

Woman: Darling, are you dead?

Man: What?

Woman: You just ate the forbidden fruit. Surprise, Surprise!

(Ruler appears)

Ruler: Oh I see! You guys have eaten the fruits I warned you not to eat. You have disobeyed Me! From now on, you are banished from the forest. Both of you will suffer the rest of your life. Every bad thing will come upon you without intervention from me. Your offspring will suffer the same fate. And lest I forget, all animals will suffer the same fate because of you. It’s all your fault. Get away now!

(Ruler kicks Man and Woman out of the forest.)

Ruler (to Servant): Servant, we did it.  Everything is fine now. The dilemma is over.

Senior Servant: Ruler, I don’t think this is a good idea.

Ruler: How dare you challenge me! Do you think you can expose me to the humans? I will put enmity between you and humans. I will tell them you are the one that turned into snake and deceived them into eating the forbidden fruit. I will tell them you you seek nothing but their destruction. Now, we shall see if they will even listen to what you have to say. From now on, you are banished from my kingdom!

(Ruler kicks senior Servant from his kingdom)

To be continued.

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